Sunday, March 29, 2020

Sex and the City 3: Bringing Down the House

Thanks to COVID-19, I have now re-watched the entire 6-season run of HBO’s “Sex and the City,” plus the two movies that continue the story. The series still holds up, for the most part, although the second movie gets a little wobbly.

For years now, there’s been talk of a third movie, and everyone seems to be on board – everyone, that is, except Kim Cattrall, a.k.a. Samantha Jones. She has stated emphatically and at great length, to anyone who will listen, that she has no interest in reprising her role, largely due to her strained relationship with Sarah Jessica Parker, a.k.a. Carrie Bradshaw. When pressed, Cattrall will only offer that she wishes SJP had been “nicer.” Really? Anyone who has worked with SJP will tell you that she is one of the nicest and hardest working people in show business. Anyone who has worked with Cattrall – not so much.

Which brings us to the third movie, which needs to get off the ground before COVID-19 kills us all. Luckily, I have the solution. Fade in:

“Sex and the City 3” opens with an over-the-credits montage in which each of the returning characters receives an invitation from Samantha Jones Public Relations, promoting an open-air event to raise money for Habitat for Humanity. Cut to the dawn of the event, with minions scurrying around putting the final touches on the reception, whose centerpiece is a pasteboard house. As our lead characters enter the scene, a gale-force wind begins to blow, sending hats and skirts, brochures and cocktails flying. The house teeters and crashes onto its side. The wind abates. Guests start flocking to the upended house and buzzing about what they see. Reveal a pair of stylish red shoes, with a pair of feet still in them. As the lead characters make their way to the scene, an off-screen voice shrieks, “WHO KILLED MY SISTER?!!” Reveal Serena Jones, Samantha’s never-before-mentioned sister, as the final credit rolls: AND INTRODUCING JEAN SMART AS SERENA JONES.

You’re welcome, Sex fans.

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